How to Handle Bullies: 5 Steps for Kids, Teens and Adults

Written by the Lyte Psychiatry clinical team. Clinically reviewed by Ana G., LPC, and medically reviewed by Dr. Akinwande Akintola, MD, supervising physician. Last reviewed: November 4, 2026.

How to handle bullies comes down to five steps: stay safe, avoid giving the reaction they want, save evidence, report it to someone with authority, and look after your mental health. Bullying is never the target's fault. These steps work for in-person and online bullying, and for kids, teens and adults, with an adult's help when the target is a child.

This article is for teens dealing with bullying, parents and caregivers who want to help a child, and adults facing bullying at work or online. It is general education, not legal or clinical advice.

What counts as bullying?

Bullying is repeated, unwanted, aggressive behavior that involves a real or perceived imbalance of power. StopBullying.gov, the federal government's bullying-prevention site, describes three main types among school-aged children: verbal (saying or writing mean things), social or relational (hurting someone's reputation or relationships), and physical (hurting someone's body or possessions).

Bullying can happen during or after school hours, on the bus, online and in group chats. A single argument between equals is usually conflict, not bullying. The power imbalance and the pattern are what set bullying apart.

Step 1: How do I stay safe right now?

Staying safe means getting away from the situation and toward people who can help. If there has been a crime or someone is at immediate risk of harm, StopBullying.gov advises calling 911.

For everyday situations:

• Move toward adults, friends or busy areas
• Change routes or seats if one place keeps being a problem
• Use the buddy system on the bus or between classes
• Keep your phone charged and know who you would call

Safety comes before evidence or confrontation.

Step 2: Should I ignore the bully or respond?

Usually, the best response is a calm, brief one followed by walking away. StopBullying.gov's guidance for teens says to stay calm and respectful, and if the person continues to be offensive, to walk away and not engage with their behavior.

Bullies often look for a strong reaction. A short, steady sentence denies them that. Physical retaliation tends to escalate things and can get the target in trouble. Online, not replying is the equivalent of walking away.

Some people feel confident enough to say one firm sentence first, such as "Stop. I don't like that." That is fine if it feels safe. If a direct conversation could provoke more aggression, skip it and go straight to reporting. Ignoring a bully is a short-term tactic, not a plan; repeated bullying still needs to be reported.

Step 3: How do I document bullying and cyberbullying?

Documenting means keeping a dated record of what happened, so reports are taken seriously. StopBullying.gov advises not responding to or forwarding cyberbullying messages, saving and printing screenshots, emails and texts, and blocking the person.

A simple log includes:

• Date, time and place, or the app or platform
• What was said or done, in exact words if possible
• Who was involved and who saw it
• Screenshots, with the username and timestamp visible

Keep copies somewhere other than the device the bullying happened on.

Step 4: Who should I report bullying to?

Report bullying to the person or organization with the authority to stop it. For school bullying, StopBullying.gov lists a teacher, school counselor, principal, superintendent and the state education department as contacts.

Other places to report:

• Online platforms, through their built-in reporting tools
• Law enforcement, for threats of violence, sexually explicit images, stalking or hate crimes, which StopBullying.gov identifies as crimes
• A supervisor or human resources, for workplace bullying

StopBullying.gov notes that in many states schools are required to address cyberbullying in their anti-bullying policies, and that laws vary by state. Ask your school or district for its written policy.

Step 5: How do I protect my mental health after bullying?

Protecting your mental health means talking about what happened, keeping up activities and friendships that make you feel like yourself, and getting professional support if it is affecting sleep, mood or school. StopBullying.gov lists depression and anxiety, changes in sleep and eating, health complaints such as headaches and stomachaches, and lower school achievement among the effects on kids who are bullied.

Helpful habits include spending time with people who treat you well, limiting time on apps where bullying happened, and reminding yourself that the bully's words describe their behavior, not your worth. Therapy can help rebuild confidence and manage anxiety that lingers after bullying stops.

What to say: scripts for kids, teens and parents

Part of learning how to handle bullies is having words ready. Short, practiced sentences are easier to use under stress than long arguments. StopBullying.gov encourages teens to tell a trusted adult, noting it is better to let an adult know than to let the problem continue. Try these:

• To the bully: "Stop. That's not okay." Then walk away.
• To a trusted adult: "Someone has been bothering me for a few weeks and I need help making it stop."
• Parent to child: "Thank you for telling me. This isn't your fault. Let's figure out the next step together."
• Parent to school: "My child has reported repeated bullying. Here is our log. What is the school's process, and when will we hear back?"
• Adult at work: "I'd like to discuss a pattern of behavior that's affecting my work. I've kept notes."

How can parents help a child who is being bullied?

Parents can teach children how to handle bullies, but children also need adults to act. Parents help most by listening calmly, believing the child, and working with the school on a concrete plan. Avoid telling a child to "just ignore it" or confronting the other family directly, which can escalate things.

1. Ask open questions: "What happened? Who was there? How did you feel?"
2. Write down what your child tells you, with dates.
3. Contact the teacher or counselor and ask for the school's written policy.
4. Agree on a follow-up date and check in with your child each week.
5. Watch for changes in sleep, appetite, mood or school avoidance.

If social media is involved, see protecting your child's mental health on social media. For more on emotional effects, read the psychological effects of bullying.

What if the bullying happens at work?

Workplace bullying is handled by documenting incidents, setting limits and raising it through a supervisor or human resources. The American Psychological Association suggests tracking stressors, setting boundaries and talking with your supervisor when work stress builds.

Employment protections differ by employer and jurisdiction, so check your workplace policy. For a broader plan, read when workplace conflict affects your mental health.

When should I get help sooner?

Get help right away if bullying involves threats, physical harm or sexual images, or if the person being bullied talks about hopelessness or suicide. StopBullying.gov advises calling or texting 988 when someone feels hopeless, helpless or is thinking of suicide, and notes that while most bullied kids do not have suicidal thoughts, there is a strong connection between signs of suicide and a history of bullying.

Other red flags: refusing to go to school for days, self-harm, sudden loss of friends, or carrying something for protection. If school avoidance is growing, see when your teen refuses school.

What should Texas families know about bullying and support?

Texas families can use school processes, community services and crisis lines when bullying affects a child's safety or mental health. School districts typically publish bullying policies and reporting steps, in the student handbook or on the district website, so ask the campus counselor or principal for the current version. StopBullying.gov notes that bullying laws and school requirements vary by state.

The Texas Health and Human Services Commission lists 24/7 crisis lines run by local mental health authorities in every county, which can help when a child or teen is in distress outside office hours.

A practical tip for Texas parents: put school meeting requests in writing, by email, and keep copies. A written trail makes follow-up easier if the problem continues or moves to a new campus. If your child receives school counseling, ask whether the counselor can coordinate with any outside therapist, with your permission.

Example: a parent whose middle-schooler is being targeted in a group chat might email the counselor with screenshots attached, request a meeting within the week, and ask how the school will check in with their child afterward.

Getting support in Texas

In Texas, 2-1-1 Texas can connect families with local mental health clinics and counseling in English and Spanish. Lyte Psychiatry offers therapy, psychiatric evaluation and medication management in Texas. In-person visits are available at Lyte Psychiatry's clinic in Pantego, in the Dallas–Fort Worth area. Lyte Psychiatry offers telehealth visits to patients who are physically located in Texas at the time of the visit.

The age range Lyte Psychiatry serves for children and teens requires confirmation, as do availability, insurance and clinician fit. All Lyte Psychiatry services are available in Spanish. Lyte Psychiatry is an outpatient practice. It does not provide inpatient care, crisis or after-hours coverage, medically supervised detox, or intensive outpatient or partial hospitalization programs. Learn more about therapy or contact the practice.

If you are in a mental-health crisis in the United States, call or text 988. Call 911 for immediate danger.

Educational information, not a diagnosis or individual treatment plan.